Paris ~ 13th November 2015

Last night there was a series of horrible attacks on innocent people in Paris. Some angry people committed senseless acts of violence in the name of their cause. And that cause is complicated. 

People have been reacting all day to the events of last night. We had a chat about it. You said that the people should have stopped and thought about how scared the people they were hurting were. Then they might not have done it. You also asked me how anybody could hurt someone who is someone's mummy or daddy. All perfectly normal questions. We talked about how some people don't know how to deal with their angry feelings and that sometimes they do bad things to other people. 

You, today - 14th November 2015

I don't have all of the answers. I actually hardly have any! But what I do know is that my natural instinct is to hold you close and pretend that all of this stuff isn't happening. To be scared and to shield you from the world. I won't do that. And I won't tell you that some people don't deserve our compassion, or to live. I feel that we need to break the cycle of violence and see clearly the underlying issues which are dividing our world. Without seeing clearly we react with violence in a fog of our own interpretations. As I said, I don't have the answers but I will always talk to you about what you see and how you feel. I won't cloud your mind with my views but I will encourage you to think about why people do things. You talked about Paris for a while today. Then you told me that something sad happened to you today as well. Whilst trying to eat your sweetie necklace, the knot on the elastic kept going in your mouth! A serious problem if ever there was one.

None of us can fix the world alone but all of us can stop and think about how to learn from it and move on as a community in the shadow of something as horrible as the events in Paris last night.

One thing is true, I am very sad for Paris today.

"Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding" ~ Albert Einstein 

  

Chance encounters at the park

Last night we walked to the park when I got home. This was an ordinary little trip, just you and me. We met two people there. Two ordinary, chance encounters which taught me a little bit about you and about me.

We held hands and walked down our road. You silently swapped from one side of me to the other as a dog approached. We didn't talk about it. I like to let you deal with your apprehensions slowly and in your own time. You've moved from screaming to be picked up when dogs approach to sidling round to the other side of me. That's progress!

At the park you immediately climbed up on the 'castle' and informed me that we had to escape from the witch who lived "over bere (there) in the witch house (climbing frame)" and then told me to "sit down bere Mummy and you must knit 12 hats, gloves and jumpers to keep us all (you, me and 10 imaginary friends. 10 is your 'big' number at the moment) warm and cosy in the winter. Come on Mummy, get knitting!"

After a while you eased the pressure on me to keep pretend knitting and asked if I could push you to the moon on the swings. I always pretend I am trying to push you to the moon and you always laugh your little head off. So happy. 

Then you went back into the park and tried to engage with a little boy who was wandering around on his own. I left you to it. He was a little bit older than you but a solitary thing. He didn't acknowledge you and just wandered about. Stopping to sit cross legged and throw wood chips on the ground in front of him. He stared into space. He seemed locked in his own world. Your attempts to play rolled off him like raindrops down a window. Your little face was sad. I left you to reflect for a few moments. Your head dropped and you sat at the top of the slide. In the end I walked over to you and explained that the little boy wanted some time to himself and that you shouldn't be sad about that. Then you excitedly pointed to the little boy who had wandered over to a crowd of older boys and had sat down at the edge of their group. "Look Mummy. He does have some friends after all!" You were so happy and I was delighted that, through the whole episode, you cared more about the little boy having friends than you cared about your own rejection. It hadn't really crossed my mind that you were trying to be nice to him and, because you couldn't, it had made you sad. I was too wrapped up in you to notice. Your kindness is palpable. It runs out of your every pore and makes me so so proud.

During this time a young teenage girl had arrived at the park. I left you to slide and sat on the bench. She sat down next to me. We'd seen her here before when she had played with you but we had never spoken to her, not properly. She seemed kind. I asked how she was. Her face lit up and she chatted away to me, slightly awkwardly but she wanted to talk. I remember thinking that I wouldn't have chatted to an adult so freely at her age. She told be about her family. She asked about you and she related it back to her own childhood. She told me she had never fitted in, and about the people who had helped her when she was little and about how she felt, then and now. A lot of what she said made me feel sad. She seemed sad. As we left she asked me my name. "Sorry, it's Laura" I said. "Thank you Laura. See you soon." She had said "thank you" rather than "goodbye." I had only really listened to her but I felt happy then, not sad.

You should always try to listen completely. In one moment, lives can collide. Those you meet, listen to, and touch, will become the foundation of your being. I hope, above all else, that you will always have someone to talk to. I love you sweetheart. See you tomorrow.

"A little consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference." ~ Winnie the Pooh