My fitness journey....

As you go through life, everyone will tell you, exercise is healthy, eat well, don't drink too much alcohol, don't smoke....I'll say all that stuff to you. I'm your Mummy, it's what we do. 

You'll probably ignore me. You're a kid, that's what you do! So, I want to tell you what journey your Mummy has been on in the last year or so. There are some reasons (I have 5 for you) to listen to some of that stuff and to live a bit more healthily. Real reasons. Not just because everyone says so. 

In the last year I have focused on health and fitness in a way that I never have done before. I eat well and pay attention to nutrition. I've (almost) completely cut out alcohol. I sleep well and train hard. Here's why it's been so amazing... 

1. I have, literally, never felt good about myself. At 37, I do now. That should be reason enough but I did promise 5.

2. I have met some wonderful people who have inspired me to aim higher, to push myself, to do good, to never say "I don't have time." Brilliant Mums who work full-time and still make time to improve themselves & stay healthy. People who want to help others to improve and are always sharing and teaching. Young people with motivation and drive. People who inspire others and work together. People I'm proud to know. 

3. This is a girly one and it sounds shallow but it makes me happy. I have always loved fashion, but on other people. I can finally enjoy it on me. It is a big motivation to stay strong and keep training hard. I just keep my eye on the dresses!

“Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening.” ~ Coco Chanel

4. I love the improvement and gains I've made and continue to make. Physically I see changes every day. I'm stronger, leaner and so much fitter than I was. A year ago I could only just bike 2 miles, couldn't move a 10kg weight and couldn't do a press up for toffee. Now I've completed a 100 mile hilly sportive, I train at the gym 3 times a week, I can do 20 proper press-ups and I do 5k runs for fun! 

Post 5k Parkrun cuddle

5. I feel more alive than I have in years. I do this for me, for those 4 reasons above. But I also do it for you. To inspire you to push yourself and to show you that it's normal for girls to run, cycle and lift weights. I love the interest you show in everything I do and want to channel and nurture that interest for as long as you'll listen to me!

With your toilet roll dumbells!

This weekend I'm running a 5km Spartan Race with some of the people I've mentioned above. I am terrified and excited in equal measures. We'll get round, one way or another, and I'm proud of the whole team already. Wish Mummy luck darling. I think she'll need it!

“A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise.” ~ A A Milne, Winnie the Pooh

Being your mummy...

"Mummy, I am the goodest kid you ever saw, am I Mummy?" 

I fell off a cliff in slow motion the day I met you. From that moment onwards, how I felt about you became the single, biggest uncontrollable force in my life. Every day I try hard to balance out that overwhelming emotion so as not to smother you. I constantly remind myself that I'm important, but so is your independence. I want to give you room to breathe, room to be. And, if something took me away tomorrow, I need to know that you'd be ok. 

Molly Rose High ~ October 2010

I haven't enjoyed all of the stages of helping you to be independent but something undefinable inside of me tells me that it's the right thing. As parents, that undefinable voice inside is all we really have to guide us. Leaving you to grizzle a bit when you were a baby wasn't always the most natural thing to do but it was right. You're learning to be independent and I'm here, like the bumpers at the edge of the bowling alley, for you to bounce off and then carry on in the right direction. We're doing ok. You are a content and caring child with a big imagination and an even bigger heart and I am very proud of you.

I have to leave your sad little face to go to work. Or deflect your disappointment when you realise that I am going out on my bike. The corners of your mouth switch to being dramatically down turned. It is painful, but only superficially. You don't spend the time I'm away crying yourself to sleep or pressed up against the window. You go to school, you play, you see your friends, you go swimming. I do my thing, and you do yours. I come home and we spend time together. This stuff is fundamentally important to you and to me. It helps us to be stronger people, for each other.

Us ~ Summer 2014

You called me "my pretty Mummy" in my new dress today. That made me happy. Always remember sweetheart, behind your story is mine, and behind mine is my Mummy's and behind her's is her Mummy's. It's where we all began. 

Me and my Mummy ~ 1977

I completed my first 100 mile sportive last month. I cycled further than I ever have done and the sense of achievement was huge. The best bit, for me though, was seeing you on your little chair by the side of the road at 25 miles in shouting "go Mummy!" It was just the best feeling in the world. It's easy to be your Mummy, that's nature. But to inspire you, to equip you to deal with life and to make you proud of me, that takes some work.

Sleep tight baby.

"I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will." ~ Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

What do I want for you?

As your Mummy, almost all of what I do is related to my wider vision for you. It's not written in the stars or carved in stone or something I am outwardly trying to achieve. I just keep it carefully wrapped up in a soft muslin cloth inside of my subconscious, it's essence seeping through in my words and actions. It isn't a collection of definitive plans but a gently swirling pool of hopes and dreams which manifest themselves in the things that we do together.

Tonight we walked home from the pub after dinner ~ The Brinkley Lion, June 2014

We spend many weekends in Cambridge when we always go to the book shop. Book shops are my haven. Packed full of little gems. Stories, pictures, words, adventures, facts, hopes, dreams, lives & achievements. Nourishment for the imagination and the mind laid out on paper and encased in an intriguing cover to entice you in. Books will help you to see the world through other people's eyes and to expand your imagination. I've been bringing you to book shops since you were a baby and they are now where you now curl your little legs up under you in the big chairs and carefully choose between 'The Yeti & the Bird' and 'Mr Trouble'. A big decision. You should take advantage of the one thing that I will never say you have enough of.

And sometimes we go for a walk in the countryside around our village. We have started taking our notebook so that I can write down everything that we see. Your excitement for shouting out something that we don't have on the list is very sweet. And you pay so much more attention to your surroundings in the eternal quest for a longer list. "White butterfly Mummy!" you squeal. "Black sheep Mummy! Field of wheat Mummy! Yellow buttercup Mummy! Gate in the field Mummy! Mole hill Mummy! Horsey Mummy! Blackbird Mummy! Write it down Mummy. Put it on the list!" 

I want you to appreciate a sunny day. To appreciate the beauty in our surroundings and to enjoy the simplest things in life like exploring the furrowed passageways through a green field of wheat. "I hope we can find our way out of this field Mummy. Or we might have to sleep here without our warm comfy beds." You don't appear to be the adventurous type but time will tell. I love to watch you challenge your fears with such concentration, talking your way through your own complex myriad of apprehensions. "If we had to sleep here Mummy, we wouldn't have any dinner would we?"

More than everything, I want you to grow up believing that life is for living in and not just for existing in. I want you to challenge yourself, to express yourself and to make an effort to enrich your life through learning. Never stop learning and always try things that scare you. You will get the most fulfillment out of achieving things you thought you couldn't do. I believe that so much of what I can see you becoming will come from who you see me being. You baby, are my constant motivation to get fit, to stay healthy, to constantly challenge myself, to expand my horizons, to care about our society and to be someone that you want to be like. This stuff was all in me before you came along and I will never stop being thankful to you and my overwhelming desire to inspire you which has bought a lot of it to the surface.

Before your swimming lesson tonight

"You are never too old to set another goal or too dream another dream" ~ C S Lewis

"Don't turn into a lemon Mummy. I wouldn't like a lemon for a Mummy. Unless I was an orange. Then it would be fine." ~ Molly Rose High, June 6th 2014