Parkrun #2

Last week you ran your first junior Parkrun at age 4. The youngest in a 4-14 age category you ran all the way round the 2km to the finish line. I cried, happy tears. So proud of you. My Talipes baby. 

Last week at the finish line

This week was a different kettle of fish! 3/4 of a km in you took a roly poly tumble and cut your knee. Clearly in pain you said you wanted to run on but after the 1km mark you had to stop. 

There were tears. I was devestated. A combination of you falling on the fun downhill where you like to put your hands in the air and shout "weeee", your disappointment at not finishing and your little hurt knee. All of that rendered Mummy useless at helping you through it all. Practical Mummy with the good advice, she wasn't there. Sniffy rubbish Mummy, she was. I feel your disappointment tenfold and I'm pretty useless at dealing with it. 

Still, a cuddle and an icecream later and all you wanted to do was limp over to the route and run the last km with Mummy. I told you you'd done 1km which was still pretty good but you sniffed that it wasn't 2. So, we ran the route together, on our own, and my determined little girl ran all the way to the finish. 

Of course I want you to be successful but more than anything in the world I want you to keep a tight hold of that steely determination that I saw today. "I didn't give up, did I Mummy?" I cried again. I am so proud of you sweetie. 

Quick stop for a swig of water...

....and to tell me to keep up

Finished! 

What I have learnt today is that things have to go wrong for us to learn how to be stronger. Without pain and failure we have nothing to overcome and learn from. Today you surprised me with your strength. My cautious and careful little girl is also quite brave and determined. 

"Here's to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them" ~ Unknown

I love you.

Saturday May 2nd 2015

I haven't written to you in a while. We've been busy. Life is busy.

It's May 2015 and there is a general election next week. People will vote for who they want to lead our country. It won't mean anything to you at the moment but it will. You will learn about politics and I hope that you will care. Listen to everyone's views. And I mean really listen. Don't close your mind too soon. Form your opinions based on what your heart and mind are telling you. There are a lot of simple theories out there. The truth is often more complex and harder to understand. You should try. Your life will be richer for it.

Today it was just us. We had pancakes for breakfast, watched Mary Poppins, baked a cake & practiced on your bike. You are most content at home. It is definitely where your heart is. Your safe place. I was like you at your age. I remember it clearly. I loved my home too. I remember only glimpses of the house that was my home when I was four. Like the glimpses of your home that I took today....

 Over the garden gate

Our spring wisteria

At the park whilst you play

Watching Mary Poppins

Learning to ride

You've just informed me that the wind is changing and Mary Poppins has to go now. It's also time for your bath. 

I'll see you tomorrow sweetheart. I love you.

You and Ted

"Winds in the east, mist coming in. Like somethin' is brewin' and bout to begin. Can't put me finger on what lies in store. But I fear what's to happen's all happened before." ~ Bert, Mary Poppins 

Mother's Day, Italy, cycling and dreams

You It was Mother's Day last Sunday. You were at your cousins' house for the day. Looking out of the garden room that morning at the snowdrops and the blackbird building a nest, I felt a pang of sadness that we weren't together. We spend every weekend together though and I knew that this little adventure would be good for you, and me. 

I don't want to just work, pay for things and exist but to really live each moment. It may be that we can't have fancy expensive holidays but I promise that, instead, we'll do the things that we really want to do. This summer we'll have a rustic Italian mountain adventure. We'll pack up the car and drive all the way across Europe with our closest friends taking in all of the sights and sounds along the way. We'll stop at alpine cafes. We'll cross mountain passes. We'll stay in pretty towns and we'll BBQ under the Italian mountain stars when we arrive. Real life and real places.

http://www.myfamilyandabruzzo.com/?m=1 (Auntie Lulu's blog about where we're going) 

You and Alfie will love your summer holiday together (not forgetting little Ralph)

We may not be together for every moment but I want to be one of the lead characters in your book. To inspire you to live. Which means that I should live my life, not just dream it, spending a little bit of time apart so that we can grow together in different ways. 

My adventure last weekend with the Women's Eastern Racing League

And home again

Today it's just you and me. You're chatting to yourself in the next room making up adventures for your toys to live. Make space for your own adventures too sweetie, and don't ever be scared to embark on them. They'll always be worth it. 

My beautiful little girl with a head full of dreams

To my little woman-in-waiting

Being your Mummy, it's not always easy. When I first got you, could you tell I was scared? I was. I often am. But doing things that scare you always gives you the most amazing things. It's International Women's Day today. When I read this back in years to come I'll remember the 38 year old me as the one who cared passionately about the future for all of our girls and women, for you. My angle differs from the current thinking which calls for quotas and change. I'd like to educate from the ground up. To empower girls to strive for more. I can start with you and may never get further than that but I will hope that, even if I don't inspire anyone else, then at least you might. 

For now, I'm watching you flourish. Your face now holds the baby that you were and the young girl that you're becoming. It is the most beautiful transformation and so freaking amazing. Nature is amazing. 

I hope that you have dreams and desires and the confidence to make them happen. I hope that, when you travel, you are humbled by the vastness of the world. I hope that one day you will stop being scared and you will use the stars and the moon to see that the darkness is beautiful. I hope that you keep caring and I hope you can enjoy all that the world has to offer. Dream big sweetheart. Be able to say, "I can't believe I did that." Not, "I wish I'd tried."

"I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they've gone through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind" ~ Emily Brontë