1 May 2018

The ties that bind us

Dear Molly,

We’ve grown together in this last year. It has not always felt easy for me. Mostly, I have been overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by anxiety, optimism, fear but mostly, by love. The ties that bind us, you and me, are the ties which have held me together.


You, me and a blurry Penny cat 🐱

I have written to you less over this past year. We have been working through things together. I have watched and experienced you transitioning into a beautiful young girl who is now very aware of the feelings of the adults around her. As a result of this I try to find a balance between sharing my life with you and shielding you from my chaos. I may not always get it right. Sometimes you know me better than I know myself but just know that I always try.

You are maturing before my eyes and I, now, even more than before, cherish your every touch, the feel of your hand in mine, your urgent hug when you bounce to me like you’re on elastic and cling on like a baby monkey, your need to be close to me, the smell of the top of your head and the weight of your seven year old self, cuddled up on my lap. I know that you won’t always need me in the same way as you do now, so I make time for you and I hold onto all of those moments.

I knew before, but I know now that I will never know a love like ours again. Our ties will loosen and tighten with the ebbs and flows of life but they are strong and they are rooted in our souls. You are a part of me, growing and maturing separately to me, but linked to me forever. I love you sweetheart. 


After school bike rides 

“It’s because we’re the same Mummy”