We're nearly there

When you had been in my tummy for 20 weeks, they took your picture inside my tummy and they told me that you had Talipes (Clubfoot). I was scared and sad. Now, I read posts on sites from other parents who are scared and sad at the beginning of their journeys. I want to share our journey to help the other mummies and daddies. I've written about this before (http://laurahigh1977.blogspot.com/2014/06/chapter-1-talipes.html) but now...now we are less than a year from never having to wear your boots and bar again and we should always remember this journey, for us and for others. 

I took this picture today. 4 years ago, we didn't know what our Talipes journey had in store for us

A lot of people don't know what Talipes is. A lot of people think that Clubfoot means one big foot. It doesn't. Here's a picture. It just means that your foot is twisted around the wrong way.

Image via nursingcrib.com

After about 4 weeks of casting, the doctors had repositioned your little foot and you were ready for your boots and bar. These would hold your feet shoulder width apart with a metal bar for 23 hours a day for 3 months then 12 hours a day until you were 5. Until you were 5! That felt like forever. It may be a cliché but time flies by so fast. To the other Mummies and Daddies just starting out on this journey, never, ever dwell on the Talipes or you'll miss the other things and that stuff is way more precious. 

I cried all my tears when you were in my tummy. Once we had embarked on the journey together I was done with my tears and was ready to be strong with you. My only focus was making sure that your treatment was no big deal and as routine as putting on socks. It worked. You slept through for 13 hours a night from being a little baby until.....well, you still do. Your boots and bars are just like pyjamas. You don't question them. I mentioned tonight that you won't have them when you're 5. You looked sad and said that you'd miss them. You asked if we can keep them for your teddy.

Your boots and bar and Right Bunny

My amazing little girl who takes everything in her little, but perfect, stride x

"We can only look, behind from where we came...."

Today I have been more acutely aware of your advancing journey from being a baby to being a little girl. Your drawing has come on from just recognisable shapes to actual Father Christmas!

Your language is changing from the basic use of only the necessary words to, "my butterfly light catcher looks just so amazing Mummy" and, when I (clearly) won the race across The Brinkley Lion's carpark today you shouted, "we will see about this  Mummy" as you raced past me to the new finish line declaring, "better luck next time Mummy!" as you finished. Every day you sound more grown up and I don't see it happen. It's like trying to see a flower grow. 

In 2010, in your little Moses basket

This morning I watched you sing along to all of the words to Joni Mitchell's 'Circle Game'. 

I didn't know that you knew all the words but we've baked cakes, biscuits, quiches, jam tarts and all sorts of other things to Joni Mitchell for as long as you've been able to stand on a chair beside me. You call it "our baking music" and I am so happy that it has soaked into you. I know now that when you're older and you hear Joni Mitchell it will evoke memories of us. Her music will be woven into the tapestry of your being and will remain for ever. It's just how it works. 

You, today

"Yesterday a child came out to wonder

Caught a dragonfly inside a jar

Fearful when the sky was full of thunder

And tearful at the falling of a star

And the seasons they go round and round

And the painted ponies go up and down

We're captive on the carousel of time

We can't return we can only look

Behind from where we came

And go round and round and round

In the circle game...."

Night night sweetie.