26 October 2013

Dear Molly, tonight you were sad...

Being your Mummy is not always rose tinted. But that's life. Tonight was one of our more challenging evenings as tiredness caught up with you. Because you're little you can't walk as far as me and I have to remember that your emotions are the same. Your tired state meant you couldn't cope with "no" or "bedtime" particularly well and tonight it brought on a tantrum. 
Your little tantrums have the same phases regardless of the cause. Feet stamping-shouting-fake crying-me getting annoyed-real tears because Mummy's sad-lengthy recovery from the whole episode-hugs and repeated "that's why I love you Mummy"s  so as not to leave me thinking that this whole affair was because you didn't. Well, for the record, I love you too baby. Somehow even more when you have a tantrum because I want to reach out to you. To make you better. To dry your eyes. But I have to accept that, sometimes, you just need to work it out yourself. That's the best way to deal with your problems I know that. I also know that I can't fix everything but I will always be here when you're ready for a cuddle and will try to make you smile again.
You calmed down and through the last of your sniffs and sobs you told me that you did "want to be an explorer and think of all the animals who live in the sea Mummy". It's your favourite bath game and five minutes earlier you didn't want to do it "that's why I am too sad Mummy." I was glad your sadness had subsided enough for normality to return and was delighted when your sad little face turned into the tiniest of smiles at my, frankly quite poor, octopus impression as we duly thought of all the sea creatures we could. 

And all warm and dry in your pyjamas you climbed on my lap and asked if we could read The Smartest Giant in Town again. We read it last night when you weren't sad and I think you wanted to recreate that feeling by reading it again. I sometimes misjudge how much you take in. I think my stories just entertain you for that night and that you just look at the pictures but you really do listen. Tonight you made me stop at the end so you could tell me that "his shirt is on a boat as a sail for a goat. His tie's a scarf on a cold bee(gi)raffe. His belt helped a dog cross a bog and his shoe is a house for a mouse." And then you declared how kind George was and how all the animals were really happy now. I told you I was really happy too and we had a big cuddle. You made me sing the "sunshine song Mummy" (a last bit of reassurance that everything was ok) and I tucked you in to your little bed with Right Bunny and Teddy. Sweet dreams sweetheart. I love you moon and back million times. 

Mummy x

"You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away" ~ You Are My Sunshine, Jimmie Davis & Charles Mitchell (1939)


  1. Aw what a beautiful letter. And I know the tantrum phase well, we are getting them a lot at dinner times at the moment. It is so hard to be firm with her when she is so upset. x

  2. Ahh, thank you. Tantrums are hard but all part of the process. I've learnt that staying calm (which is hard) is the best way to get us all through them x